With marriage as my passport, I have traveled to this land many times and found my home there. This passport has forced me out of my neat theological ideas and cute, fantastical thoughts (the kinds where I picture myself as the greatest guy in the world, waxing eloquent and romantic words while I lovingly serve my wife as Christ did the Church).
Marriage magnifies the Gospel: I am a sinner. I need Jesus.
Marriage is like the red ink on a D+ paper. You are able to see your mistakes...a lot. Marriage shatters my rose-colored glass view of myself and I see my errors and inadequacies, which are usually fueled by my selfish motives/idolatry (Read Romans 1).
In this way, marriage is similar to the Gospel: our sin is exposed for what it is and we realize that there is absolutely no way that we can do this on our own. We cannot live righteously apart from Jesus Christ. His sacrifice and atonement on the cross is the only way possible for us to be forgiven, justified, and cleansed of all unrighteousness. In addition, we receive the righteousness of Christ instead!
Grace is poured out to the saints in the Lord Jesus Christ who cling to the cross as their only true means of life and right standing with God. In marriage, we can model the Gospel to the world and to one another. My wife is a gracious woman, especially when it comes to dealing with me. She forgives me and reminds me of the forgiveness I have received from God. She is hopeful for my life as a new man, rather than the old man (2 Corinthians 5:17). She even loves me enough to say the difficult truths so I can pursue holiness, rather than mere happiness. Together we can show the world that the cross of Jesus Christ is the only REAL way that messed up people can love each other for a lifetime! All of this grace poured out is the fuel for godly living. This grace-fuel precedes any hope of "[Loving my wife] as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).
Reality is taking the theological ideas and living them out. You'll know it's happening when there is an appropriate and simultaneous amount of pain and joy!
